Key Takeaways
- Your money story is yours to rewrite. The financial habits you took-in growing up were simply what you were shown rather than a pattern you must repeat. Recognizing your Money Script Type (the lens through which you view money in general) can be a powerful way to become more intentional with your finances!
- Boundaries are an act of self-care. Every financial boundary you set is a yes to your own peace and well-being. Start small, stay consistent, and trust that speaking up is far less costly than carrying the weight of resentment.
What We Internalized about Money Growing Up
As Mother’s Day, and then Father’s Day approach, what is coming up for you when you think about money and family?
Whether we recognize it or not, what was modeled for us by our caregivers in our earliest relationships informs how we handle our money now–whether we repeat those patterns or completely repel.
We all carry a bit of a “Money Script Type”. These types are a categorization of how we relate to money through one of four lenses:
The Avoidant type has no positive associations with money; money is evil.
The Status type looks to money to solve all of their problems, particularly if they feel like they never have enough.
The Worshiper links money and achievement to their self-worth.
The Vigilant type is extremely frugal and fears spending money.
Dive deeper into your Money Script Type here!
How to Set Financial Boundaries
The fact is that personal finance is so personal that when we make financial decisions that are out of alignment with our integrity, we can spiral into disappointment, anger and resentment. 1 in 3 people report regretting loaning money to a family member–but they did it anyhow because it was “too hard to say no”.
Creating clear boundaries with family members is a good first step towards resentment-prevention.
Boundaries are not just statements or self-imposed rules; boundaries contain a request and a consequence. “If you X, I will do Y”.
“If you ask to borrow money again, I will hang up the phone.”
“If you continue to give me unsolicited advise on how I spend my money, I won’t come over anymore.”
“If you don’t pay me back by this date, this will be the last time I loan you money.”
One thing that makes creating (and enforcing) your boundaries a little easier is to recognize that by having the boundary, you are actually saying yes to something else. Once you are ready to instill a boundary that has been bothering you, write it out and focus on how this boundary is actually going to create more ease for you!
Start with something small, voice your boundary to anyone affected, and then follow through. It might help to start with something non-money related. Follow-up with consistent actions and people will take your boundaries more seriously!
How good would it feel to eventually get to a point where you can be comfortable expressing yourself, and your needs, guilt-free?
FAQ’s
- Once I understand my Money Script Type, what am I supposed to do in order to move the needle in that area of my life?
Once you have the lightbulb moment of which type resonates, give yourself some understanding and compassion of where this even originated for you. That will provide a little distance from judging yourself too harshly. Then, you can begin to notice when your behavior is lining up with those types of thoughts and feelings, and take a pause. Start again, making an effort to move in the direction you actually want to go–with even the tiniest step.
- What if I feel guilty setting financial boundaries with family?
Feeling guilty is actually a sign that this is important to you–not that you’re doing something wrong. You can honor your guilt by recognizing that it is simply a side effect of wanting to avoid the discomfort of a tough conversation. Do a trial run with a trusted friend, and get comfortable stating your needs and consequences aloud. Remind yourself that you are only responsible for yourself, and that any reactions are not yours to carry. Every boundary you set is a quiet “yes” to your own peace–and you deserve that too.
Looking to relieve some financial stress?! There is a better way! Book a free call with me now!
Unlocking Abundance 