Let’s talk about how our nervous system stress-response-type can show up in our relationship with our money! Read below for a refresher on the common stress-responses, how yours may be showing up in the way that you interact with your finances, and what you can do right now to get back in touch with what you truly want.
A non-medical expert’s recap of the Central Nervous System:
Past traumas (big and small) influence how we react to stress today. We want to hang out in the calm/flow state, technically known as the Para-Sympathetic Nervous System. In this place digestion, reproductive, immune, etc. systems are running optimally. Depending on our past trauma, genes, temperaments, etc. we may swing into the Sympathetic Nervous System when we experience stress. In Sympathetic activation, those main functions diminish and it can be hard to even think clearly or concentrate, nevermind be able to focus and make good decisions. When this state is activated, we may experience anxiety, insomnia, heart palpitations, poor digestion, high blood pressure, etc.
When our nervous systems switch over to compensate in what we’re experience in that moment, we may find ourselves involuntarily exhibiting a fight, flight, freeze or fawn behavior in order to get back to feeling safe. Raise your hand if you have experienced bolting from a tense situation, freezing in place, or over-compensating to please the person you are with even though every cell in your body just wants it to be over. Yep, sounds familiar!
What Nervous System stress-responses might look like in our relationships with our money:
Well, our mindset around money (including our subconscious beliefs) live in the body, as well, and can be triggered in the same way when under stress. Freeze and/or fawning are some of the most common stress-responses that can show up when we’re handling our finances.
Freeze Response:
Financial Avoidance. Head-in-the-sand mentality. Can show up as avoiding bank statements, not filing our taxes, etc. This shows up when someone is experiencing pain around money.
Fawn Response:
Financial Co-dependency. Chronically under-earning/undercharging, or conversely, overspending in order to please others. Workaholism leading to burn out. One might sellout their authentic selves in order please an authority figure who pays them.
What we can do to find relief today:
Simply the act of not being able to be our authentic selves can lead to these stress responses taking over and money-mishandling. In order to get back to that authentic you, clarify your Core Values and your WHY. You can also do an “integrity-check”, seeing how your actions/behaviors lately match up with those values. Martha Beck, who authored the book The Way of Integrity tells us to “Move towards that which naturally interests you” rather than succumbing to societal expectations and norms out of pressure or people-pleasing.
What does this look like physically? Start from a still space. If you feel yourself slipping into a stressful state, come back to the body with breath (longer exhales than inhales), posture (straight spine/shoulders back) and presence (using a mantra or scanning the room and feeling your feet on the floor) in order to return to the Para-Sympathetic from the overwhelm of the Sympathetic.
Whatever you do, do not push your Nervous System. There is no “grin and bear it” without consequences showing up somewhere else in the body. Wait for the “pull” of where you really want to go..
How can I change my beliefs about money?
Changing the way you think about money is extremely impactful in re-setting subconscious beliefs that these systems are triggered by. Write down some of your oldest money beliefs. Identify a main negative thought you have about money. Example: “When it comes to money, I am not great at..” or “I don’t deserve to be rich because..”.
Next, write out the opposite of those thoughts. “When it comes to money I AM great at..” and “I DO deserve to be rich because..”. Notice which answer feels best in the body. Continue to come up with and move towards the statements that feel best physically, even if your mind is resisting. This is the real you! And, it’s hard and takes a lot of practice! Changing those subconscious beliefs take work, but it’s NOT impossible.
By identifying and prioritizing our nervous system state, our relationship with money can become less triggering. When we get really present and follow what our body feels rather than what our mind has decided is “right” in order to keep us safe, we can move in the directions we actually want to go.
Now, let’s go!
Unlocking Abundance 