October is here which brings with it a topic that does not get nearly enough airtime: National Domestic Violence Awareness month.
Let’s touch on a few facts about Domestic Abuse and in particular, Financial Abuse.
1 in 3 women will face Domestic Abuse (it’s 1 in 2 for trans folks) and in 99% of those cases, the situation will have a Financial Abuse component.
Nearly 70% (!!!) of Millennials have reported experiencing Financial Abuse by a romantic partner.
Domestic Abuse is, at its core, about control; controlling the finances is another tool in the abuser’s toolbox.
Finances play one of the greatest causes of keeping victims in the situation. By restricting access to finances they are further restricted from freedom.
If you or someone you know is experiencing any of the following, you or they may be a victim of Financial Abuse:
—Feeling afraid to ask their partner about their own money.
—Receiving a budget or allowance for their own funds.
—Receiving pushback or prohibition against opening their own bank account.
—Expenditures are questioned by their partner and receipts are checked.
—One party is making all of the financial decisions for the relationship.
—Using cash often and hiding the change, or stashing it away in a secret place.
Components of building a Safety Plan:
*Photograph all documents with account numbers so that there is a record.
*Establish own bank account, or have an advocate open one.
*Reach out to local resources (see hotline below).
*Get counseling with a professional trained in Domestic Violence.
*Hire a divorce attorney who specializes in Domestic Violence.
As advocates and allies, we all can do the following:
—Don’t judge.
—Don’t assume it’s easy for someone to “walk away”; on average this takes 7 attempts(!!!).
—Do be on alert for behavioral changes in friends; perhaps they’re unable to engage or no longer do that thing they used to really love. Pay attention.
—Do give victims the space to react to their situation at their readiness.
—Do respond with “I hear you, I believe you, I will help you.”
—Do keep the conversation going about the topic of Domestic Violence with all people; erase the stigma.
—Do demand more from our leaders around awareness and policy.
—Do ask that men hold other men accountable to toxic masculinity.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline:
800-799-SAFE is an anonymous resource that collects the caller’s zip code only and points them in the direction of local resources.
Unlocking Abundance 